The original Predator is a classic. I saw it in the theater with my dad for my birthday. I didn’t think Predator was a classic at the time. It may seem tame to the modern audience, but Predator was a bit intense and outside the box in 1987.

As time went on, I began to appreciate Predator more. It became my go-to sick movie. Whenever I was sick, I’d pop Predator into the VCR. I have no idea why, but it always made me feel better (maybe the toughness of the characters made me tougher). At a concept level, Predator shouldn’t work — Arnold Schwarzenegger leading a group of soldiers against an alien hunter. Ridiculous.

Yet, Predator had a few tricks up its sleeve. First off, it had John McTeirnan directing. McTeirnan was no fluke, as proved by his hat trick of Predator, Die Hard and The Hunt For Red October. Furthermore, Predator has genuine classical underpinnings. It borrows from The Most Dangerous Game, where man is the greatest prey. It has elements of Beowulf, where heroes are menaced by a monster. Finally, the stalking monster motif goes all the way back to the Bible (1 Peter 5:8). This is why the stalking monster trope continues to engage viewers to this day; it’s part of our nature.

Next, acting and charisma elevate the film. I’d say Predator is Schwarzenegger’s best acting performance (even as Bill Duke quietly steals the show). Meanwhile, Carl Weathers, Sonny Landham, Jessie, Chaves and Black add enough charisma to fill in any cracks. Many quotable lines have come out of these guys, as well. One I don’t see mentioned enough is Chaves delivery of “We…hit…nothing…” I enjoy the frightened frustration behind his words. The characters in Predator do not have fear born out of being faced with an enemy who brings death. They have fear born out of being faced with an enemy who is better than them. Despite all of their training, experience, tactics and equipment, they are outclassed.

Music-wise, Alan Silvestri delivers a score that sits on the head of subtlety while laughing, and it works within the framework of the movie’s reality. I am listening to the end credits of Predator as I edit this post and am loving every minute of it.

Finally, the Predator is one of the greatest monster designs ever. Its camouflage effect was also impressive at the time. It was something viewers had never seen before. Except for a few frames, the effects of Predator still hold up. The movie itself is relatively timeless as a whole. The characters wear plain clothes, have plain hairstyles and exist within a jungle devoid of era markings.

Add all of that up, and you get a classic. Since Predator turned out to be a classic, we, of course, got more Predator. Predator 2 is its own weird thing. It’s not exactly my cup of tea, but I recognize that it has merit. Aliens vs. Predator is a video game. Predators is a misfire. Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem needs to be killed with fire. And now Shane Black, storyteller extraordinaire of Lethal Weapon fame, along with Fred Dekker, whose Night Of The Creeps is a film that grew on me perhaps more than any other film, throw their hat into the ring with The Predator, coming 2018.

I’m curious as to what they come up with despite my disdain for the current trend to mine classic movies of all their value. As a result, I thought it would be fun, or at least a way to pass the time, to come up with my own Predator movie. Like the Black and Dekker attempt, it must remain true to the original, build on the original and not be a reboot of the original.

To start with, I believe that the hunting/stalking aspect of Predator is pretty much played out. It was pretty much played out after the first film. What is going on? What is killing the soldiers? All of those questions were answered, and by the time Predator 2 rolled around, there was no mystery left. The audience is 10 steps ahead of the characters and that sense of curiosity is gone. The best they could do is give us glimpses into what makes the Predator tick and give him some new weapons. That stuff can be fun, but it’s not suspense. In addition, you’ve got Predator comic books, video games and toys. The sad truth is that Predator seems to be milked dry. That’s why I’m highly curious to see how Black introduces awe and mystery back onto the Predator mythos. If he pulls it off and can do something other than bigger is better and more is better, I will be impressed.

Anyway, here is the Predator story I came up with. It is a very top level look down at the plot. I’m not going into the particulars, coming up with pithy dialogue or blocking out action scenes. That is way more thinking than I wish to think at this time. I will include commentary of my thought processes in italics, though, because I like commentaries.

A Predator Movie By Steve

A man in the desert sets up a satellite dish. Juxtaposition between the desolation and technology. What is going on? The man starts broadcasting a message into the sky. Then he puts on a pair of headphones, sits down and waits. At sunrise, another man shows up to take his place. He waits…

I wanted a mysterious opening as a way to try to generate a sense of, you guessed it, mystery. Again, it seems like a futile gesture. I mean, people cosplay Predator.

Cut to Dutch in a Patrick McGoohan Prisoner-type situation. Dutch is looking weathered. He’s been there awhile. His location looks like a normal small town (more mystery!), but it is revealed to be a prison for people who know too much. Various folks are kept there: vile criminals, people who need to be kept alive to be pumped for information and maybe even a couple of people who escaped other Predator hunts. A friend is established for Dutch. It could even be the Danny Glover character from Predator 2. An Overseer is established as a villain type. A strong guard force, cameras, machinegun turrets and the like are also present at the facility.

I wanted to bring back Dutch as a way to tie this film directly to the original. Plus, I have unrealistic optimism that Arnold can come back and dominate the movie world like he once did.

One day, Dutch is told he is going for a ride. He figures that means being made dead, but what can he do about it? They take him into the desert at night. A Predator is waiting! Since they can’t glean any useful information from Dutch, they decide to use him as bait. They offer him to the Predators in exchange for knowledge (the dish in the beginning was broadcasting this message into space). It’s a trick, though, because the Overseer is crafty. They capture the Predator instead in a big action scene. In the chaos, Dutch escapes. He stands alone in the aftermath, but where does he have to go?

Since Predators hunting people is probably played out, I decided to try hunting a Predator instead. I like the idea of leaving Dutch alone and forgotten in the aftermath. This can be a character moment for him. He wanted to escape the prison, but where does he have to go? In the end, he decides to go back and kick the Overseer’s buttocks 80s style, along with rescuing his friend. Dutch seems like a loyal guy who would do such a thing. I also feel this action would not betray any military honor he possesses. I don’t think the facility where he was kept prisoner is military. It is more of a vague, shadowy organization.

So, back to the facility. They are studying the Predator and trying to extract all they can from him. But the Predator turns the tables. He allowed himself to be captured. He wanted access to a place filled with all of the “ones that got away.” It’s a playground of trophies. Things get nuts. The Predator is tearing the place apart. Dutch is tearing the place apart. You got Predator vs. Dutch and guards. Dutch vs. Predator and guards. Overseer gets his comeuppance. Dutch’s friend (maybe Danny Glover) dies. Finally, it’s down to the Predator and Dutch. Dutch then blows himself up, along with the Predator. Reversal! (Said blowing up could just be a character thing or for the greater good; like maybe the Predator is calling down an invasion or perhaps it is going to spread an alien disease, whatever).

And that’s my Predator story in a basic nutshell. It needs refinement and embellishment to make it sing (like we can have a part where Arnold screams “Get away from da chopper!” Then again, fan service can stop a story dead in its tracks), but the skeleton is there.

Is it good? With five Hollywood script doctors, a big budget and skilled technicians, it could maybe be good…or not. Lightning is hard to capture in a bottle. We’re just having fun here. In order to continue having fun, I decided to include other brainstorming ideas I had, along with commentary.

Dutch has the option of saving the Predator from hunters. What does he do?

I thought about having Dutch and the Predator be friends at the end. Then I figured the Predators were humanized enough that way in Aliens vs. Predator. Plus, a Predator killed all of Dutch’s men and kind of wrecked his life. On the other hand, there are examples of enemies in battle still respecting each other and even sparing each other, like pilots in World War II.

Someone passes Dutch a note: get out.

I thought someone should maybe let Dutch know he was in trouble, and that would maybe prompt him to try to escape before a Predator is brought to the facility. Originally, I thought a human traitor would bring the Predator into Dutch’s prison locale. Why? This is why…

The traitor is a government man. He knows about the Predators. His family is killed by terrorists. He wants to use the Predator to kill the terrorists. Government won’t go after terrorists. And traitor has something he is willing to trade: Dutch.

At first I considered the guy with the dish in the beginning of the story was a lone guy. He knew about the Predators and wanted to use them for his own purpose.

Predator then goes and wipes out terrorist compound. Political fallout.

I thought maybe a Predator wiping out a terrorist compound would make for a decent action scene. I then considered such an action might have political consequences, like the compound was in a country we had to remain friends with whether we liked it or not. Hence, this would raise the stakes.

Traitor takes Predator to government compound. He sneaks it inside. Dutch is now an old man.

After the Predator wiped out the terrorist compound, the man would get him inside the facility, which I originally envisioned to be Predator-proof in some clever way

Is it all is a ruse to capture a Predator?

I didn’t plan on any ulterior motive by the parties contacting the Predator. Later, I switched it to them using Dutch to capture a Predator and then having it be revealed the Predator allowed himself to be captured. Then I thought, why would he do that? What do we have beside Dutch that it would want? Then I decided to make the facility full of trophies.

Nuclear bomb goes off.

I thought this might be a consequence of the politic fallout above. This even led me to consider a post-apocalyptic Predator tale. That might be an interesting idea to think about. It might be good for comic books, but I doubt it would work for a movie.

A lead scientist is at a facility. He keeps Dutch there, meanly. Can’t glean any more information from Dutch and is obsessed with capturing a Predator.

I kept that for the Overseer character.

What will you give me in return? Technology. Knowledge.

What could we possibly trade Dutch for if we wanted to trade him to the Predators? I guessed technology and knowledge is the obvious choice. We want space travel and better weapons.

A man is running from something. It is a Predator. Predator catches him. Man smiles. Reveals a bomb vest. Blows himself and the Predator up.

I thought it would be fun to have a man blow up himself to get the Predator instead of the Predator blowing himself up. This made it into the story.

A man in the desert comes upon a group of slaughtered soldiers. He smiles and turns on a tracking device. It starts beeping and he goes where it is leading him.

This was my very first idea for an opening. I was toying with capturing a Predator. How? Maybe sacrifice a team and implant trackers in their skulls or something, which the Predator took.

A military unit turns the tables on a Predator, hunting it. They pursue the creature into the Congo, into an unexplored region. Once there, they discover dinosaurs and a Predator base.

I was just trying to think bigger, which turned into weirder.

The Predator lures them into dinosaurs to shake them off his trail. Predators riding dinosaurs. Predators hunting dinosaurs.

Again, just brainstorming wacky things. Then I realized I was basically doing King Kong.

Predators spreading disease or calling in reinforcements.

I was looking for ways to up the stakes. Like what if there is a Predator version of small pox they give us…or they wanted to exterminate rather than just hunt. I don’t know why they would want to do that, though. That would be like us wanting to exterminate a pheasant resort maybe. And sometimes stakes get too big. Sometimes it is better to keep a degree of intimacy about the whole thing. No world threat, just a personal threat to characters we care about.

A guy has something important in his skull. A Predator takes it. This sets off a chain reaction to get that important thing back.

Here I thought, what if a Predator kills a VIP person who has some sort of implant in his skull that has a very important purpose? Again, just playing around with ideas.

That is the extent of my brainstorming session. Normally, I don’t do brainstorming because I write stories based on ideas I had, not ideas I’m trying to have. Brainstorming is a process like any other, however. I once read something rather profound — it’s no harder to write a good story than it is to write a bad story. One simply has to sit down and refine the idea. The above story certainly needs refinement, but I bet a final version could be cracked with the appropriate amount of brain grease. This is why I get frustrated with major movies these days. They have the money and talent to refine. I shouldn’t come out of a major movie trying to rationalize its issues.

Here’s hoping Black and Dekker nail The Predator.